Fingernail Friday

Today is our next installment of Fingernail Friday. Today we have a pretty, feminine design.
(with espresso cup, if you are wondering about the scale)

I'm Rich! I'm Rich!

I got this email today.

URGENT NOTIFICATION TO THE OWNER OF THIS EMAIL ADDRESSDear Internet User,We are pleased to inform you of the result of the E-LOTTERY NL. InternetPromotional Draws. All email addresses entered for this promotional draws wererandomly inputted from an internet resource database using the SynchronizedRandom Selection System (SRSS).Your email address was selected in the Category "A? with ReferenceNumber NL 80OS 9414 Batch Number: 444821545-NL/2008 and Ticket Number: PP 3812 /2008-03,and this qualifies you to be the recipient of the grand prize award sum of$2,500,000 (Two million, five hundred thousand dollars).The payout of this cash prize to you will be subject to the final validationsand satisfactory report that you are the bonafide owner of the winning emailaddress.In line with the governing rules of claim, you are required toestablish contact with your designated claims agent via email ortelephone withthe particulars below:Name: Mr. Robert WilliamsPhone: +31 64 544 9390Email: robertwilliams008@yahoo.cnYou are advised to call the Claims agent for confirmation or provide thefollowing information for processing the payment of your cash award.DATA PROFILENames:Telephone/Fax number:Nationality:Age:Occupation:Winning Reference Number:Failure to complete the claims of your cash prizeafter 14 days of this notice will result in the revision of award. Hence, youshould commence your claims process immediately, by contacting theclaims agent(Mr. Robert Williams) who would be guiding you through the Claims process.Congratulations on your Winning Prize and we look forward to completing yourpayout soon.Yours Faithfully,Dougherty MildredLottery Co-ordinator.N.BKINDLY RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL EITHER BY CONATCTING US VIA TELEPHONE OR SEND ANEMAIL TO robertwilliams008@yahoo.cn----------------------------------------------------------------This message was sent using Manhattan College Webmail.http://www.manhattan.edu

Riiiiight. The Netherlands want to give me money. And they use a Manhattan College Webmail address as their main server and a hotmail address as a contact number. This looks like it is on the up and up. I'll send them all my personal info right away. After all, I'm tired of having any money. (wait, I have money? From where?) I'll just let them have my money. (where am I getting this idea. Clearly I am delusional) Surely they wouldn't rip me off. It's a government, they don't rip people off. (okay, that's it. Clearly I have lost the 2 brain cells that I had that were still functioning. ) Wait, the Netherlands pays their lottery winnings in dollars? Cool, that will make the exchange easier. Wait, is that American dollars of Canadian? Hang on, the email is from Manhattan so it would be American dollars. Hmmm, how's their currency right now? Do I want it in American dollars? How many Canadian dollars would that be...l;ksdlkffhjjsp

Hi folks, my momma haz lost her mind, I haz bumped her off the computer and am sending her into the kitchen to open up a can of tuna for me.

~Raven

Yark!

Today at work, the technician called across the dispensary, "pharmacist, this one's for you. Line 1!"
Here is the conversation:

Me: Pharmacist speaking, how can I help you?
Person on the phone (PP): my crotch hurts.
Me: Pardon? (thinking I had heard it wrong)
PP: My crotch hurts.
Me: Ummmm, did you drop something on it?
PP:No, there's like,a bump, but I can't see it. I feel it.
Me: (thinking "ickyickyickyicky!!!!!") try putting some Polysporin on it. Sounds like you have a pimple or a cyst.
PP: I tried that but it made it worse.
Me: (thinking how does Polysporin make it worse? Don't want to know. REALLY don't want to know) Perhaps you should call your doctor and get them to look at it.
PP: I did , but they can't see me today. If I come in, can you...
Me: (Very hastily) No NO! That's okay. There's nothing else I ca do for you without getting a prescription from your doctor.
PP: Oh, okay. Bye.

I was so grossed out. Totally icked. I was ready to yark. So I thought I'd share it with all of you.

Hee!

Winter Prep

Damn it. Summer is pretty much over. Which means winter is coming. Which means that the boot liners I promised my hubbunny had better make an appearance soon. Unfortunately, the last time I made him a pair, I didn't keep notes. So I had to wing it.

Version 1:

The heel was too shallow and it looked too tight to me. So, version 2:

This appears to be a winner. So I wrote down what I did in my journal so I won't have to do that again!

I think I will felt up version 1, stuff it, add catnip and give it to Raven. Can't let the toy supply get low.

Thank you momma! I will leave the cones of yarnz alone for a little longer-Raven

I Didn't Quite Think it Through

Hmm, Fingernail Fridays only works if I got my nails done since the last one. Since I get my nails done every couple of weeks, it will be Alternate Fingernail Fridays, I think....Or I could just say I forgot. Oooh, look, shiny...

Raven is a little young to be this cynical, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Mitred Company

So, my lonely multi-mitre has some company now. I am still way far away from any kind of completion on this project. It would help if life kept not throwing me curveballs to mess with my knitting time. Like food poisoning. However, such is life, I will perservere. Here's how far I have gotten:

I have not actually counted how many to do still. I'm afraid I might do something foolish like run out into the street with my metal dpns yelling "how many squares??? How many squares? HOW MANY SQUARES!!!!" and get all stabbity on the lawn. While that might get me into the psych ward for an evaluation and away from work, I suspect not much useful knitting would get done as they would probably sedate me to the eyeballs.

I probably ought to go knit some more squares now.

Ciao

Be Careful What You Wish For.....

You just might get it.

When asked what my plans for this Labour day weekend, my response was the same it usually is,"hopefully, not leaving the house at all". You see, I absolutely hate trying to shop or get anything done this weekend of the year. It's worse than the Christmas season. Why? Back to school. This is the weekend parents will be charging through the stores like maddened oxen trying to decide if they need the Doris the Exploder lunchbox or the Trashformers backpack. This is the weekend all the parents are trying to make Susie or Johnny decide what shoes they need for gym. This is the weekend the teenagers go out to buy their first day of school outfit.

Even the grocery store is a zoo. Parents trying to decide what to pack in their kids lunches swamp the store. This is complicated by the fact that there is huge recall on lunch meat due to a listeriosis outbreak in one of the larger meat packing plants in Ontario. Since many if not all schools are peanut free zones, that sharply reduces lunch options. I predict that there will be many sales of thermoses (thermi?) for soup today and tuna sandwiches tomorrow.

Then, just to put the icing on the cake, I live in a university town. This is also the weekend many proud but nervous parents are moving their beloved childer into dorms and rental housing. The area around the university is chaos. Fortunately, I don't live there. However, The Walmart and Zellers, will be worse as the parents run out to pick up the last few items they forgot to pack (can openers, toilet paper...) Alas, the only Walmart and Zellers in this town are around the corner from my house. Which means traffic is a disaster.

(This, by the way, is why my folks, after my first year of university, would pay a little extra to move in a day or 2 early. We would come up on the Wednesday or Thursday before Labour day,drop the boxes in the middle of the room and go home. Then, on Labour day, I would take the train in and spend a leisurely day unpacking. Much less stressful. )

Moving on. I have also in the past commented that I should lose a few pounds.

How is all this connected to "be careful what you wish for"?

Saturday morning. Early Saturday morning I woke up with gawdaful belly cramps. They continued unabated for a few hours. Then, dinner from the previous night made a reappearance. From, um, both ends. Yuck. I had/have food poisoning. Fortunately, over the last couple of days, I have gotten better. I don't have a fever, muscle aches or a headache. Which is something you have when you have listeriosis. I feel almost normal this morning (Monday). But for the last 2 days I have eaten almost nothing. Saturday I slept around the clock. Thank goodness for the hubbunny. He brought me water to drink. If I had to get out of bed and go down the stairs, I wouldn't have made it. That's how sick I was. Sunday,my diet consisted of water, 2 slices of bread, plain, 2 small bunches of grapes, a handful of rice with a dab of butter on it and 4 crackers. I weighed myself today and have lost 5 pounds. I'm sure most of that is simply being completley empty and slightly dehydrated. If I drink too much water, my delicate tummy rebels.

So I got my wishes. I stayed in all weekend. I didn't even get dressed. I lost some weight. I think the fates are rather cruel. Or at least, have a twisted sense of humour.

In closing,this is pretty much what my family did this weekend:

Sleep!

Baby Moose!

Or baby meese, as they would be called at my house

Pharmacy Fun

A little test I found....



NameThatDrug.com - Test Your Drug Knowledge


NameThatDisease.com - The Disease Test

Fingernail Friday

When I was in Toronto a couple of weeks ago, I received strict instructions to blog my fingernails more often. Since I really don't have much to blog about right now, I figured this is a good time to introduce what hopefully will become a semi-irregular friday event here at The Knot.....Fingernail Friday!

Who'd a thunk it would be so hard to take in-focus pictures of your fingers?

Yarn to Yarn

A couple of posts ago, I showed you some yarn on my spindle that I was adding twist to. I skeined some of it up and am now presenting the "Yarn to Yarn" project. Not that it is done. I have a lot of this stuff......

I forgot to put a coin in for scale, but the red yarn there is sock yarn. I think it's spinning up to worsted-ish. Possibly a bit larger. Since this is for a felting project, it doesn't really matter....

ciao

Conversation with the Husband

Saturday nights are my time with the tv. The rest of the week, the hubby watches wrestling (which I do too), football and baseball. I was watching a real estate show from England where they are trying to find a couple a house to buy. One of the houses shown was a lovely old house with beams in the ceiling. I commented that the beams were lovely, but I felt they tend to make the ceiling feel lower. The hubby replied,"well, it'll be easy for them to setup the sex-swing, at least" . Um. Yeah, honey.



The evening passed and I was watching a decorating show in which another couple were having trouble choosing a colour to paint the walls. I said,"Pick the blue you idiots. It's nice!" Hubby responded," so you want your sex-swing to be blue?" Rather than get into a discussion about how I didn't think we needed it, I said yes to shut him up. Hubby then went on to ask what colour the stripper pole should be. I told him chrome, looked at him like he was an idiot and went back to watching my show.



What does hubby do?



"see, I would have gotten it wrong with a brass pole. This is why couples need to communicate"



I'm going to be a little leery coming home from work for the next few days. What if he decides to,ahem, redecorate the bedroom?

Funny Things on My TV

Here at Chez Knot we don't actually buy the pron channels, but they are listed on the menu. Some of the titles are rather funny. In an ewwww sort of way. For example:


Gooey Buns

and

Blow it out your Ass


Other stuff on my tv:

Since I am hearing impaired, on my tv, I have the closed captioning option turned on. I was watching Raw is War (wrestling) and one of the women wrestlers has a shtick where she comes out and sings completely off key. Usually when someone sings, the closed captioning either writes out the words to the song, or just puts up musical notes so you know it is singing. When Jillian (the terrible singing wrestler) came on , the caption read ,"Jillian singing horribly"


Heh.


And, as a reward for reading this far...cute kitty pic:



"What do you mean, this is the people bed?"-Pagan

Nope, I Follow Directions, Ma'am

How is it that the people on addictive drugs always claim to take it exactly as directed? I had one today. Got 60 lorazepam that lasted him for 33 days (and should have lasted 60 days). Got a refill for another 60 pills that have now lasted him for 51 days. So he should still have 36 pills at home. He claims otherwise. When I cautioned him that these pills can gradually creep up on you and then you notice one day you are taking more than the doctor ordered, he exclaimed indignantly,"No ma'am. I only take ONE at bedtime. Ever!" Yet he had none left........



This scenario happens regularly. Do I look stoopid? (don't answer that,you in the back) How is it that everybody takes their pills as directed and yet run out early. But only on the "good" ones? Which, by the way, we count twice before handing them out to make sure there are exactly the right amount.

Fixing Yarn

Quite a while ago, I thought I would make up some felted boxes. I found some yarn called White Buffalo that is "very feltable". However, it is soooo loosely spun, it might as well be roving. It kept pulling apart on me. So it sat in the stash since it was such a pain.

The other day, I was sitting in my living room, just vegetating and my eye fell upon my kick-spindle. I had an Aha! moment and decided to add some twist to the yarn. Since it is for a felting project, it doesn't matter that I am still in the uneven spinning stage of learning. And at the end I will have useful yarn!

It is coming out roughly worsted weight, I think. Since gauge for a felted box is pretty unimportant, I'm not too worried about the exact weight.

ciao

My Exciting Trip

Last weekend I went to Toronto. I stayed with my sister.

When I arrived friday night, we stopped in at Jack Astor's for nachos. With an adult beverage, of course.

I thought the bill was rather amusing, as they have the provincial and federal taxes identified with the Premier of Ontario, Dalton McGuinty, and the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, respectively. So that we know who to blame, I suppose....

On saturday, my sister and I stopped by the Cheese Boutique. They have an amazing assortment of imported goodies. Among the wonders is a cheese room. You can actually go in and look at (but don't touch!) the cheese.

Saturdy continued with a lovely afternoon and evening spent with the Mezzodiva herself. That's right, she of the lovely Hibiscus for Hope sock pattern. (if you haven't got it yet, you want it. Go. Get it. I'll wait)

We met for a late lunch, a couple of beer, coffee.....and knitting of course!

Alas, I had to frog the knitting I was working on back to where it was at the beginning of the knitfest. I started the heel too early and the sock was short. However, the company was fabulous. She is as lovely in person as she in on the internet and it felt like I was meeting an old friend that I had known for years. The afternoon/evening just flew by. It too seemed short, although it was actually over 6 hours of fun! None of us wanted it to end, Unfortunately, one can only stay awake for so long before one falls over. So we had to call it a day. There will be more days, I'm sure.

Ciao

Meh

I returned from my fabulous weekend in Toronto and now am feeling the let down. So, for fun, check this out. It is absolutely adorable cuteness with kitty and doggie. For more cuteness, her blog.

More on my trip to T-dot later....

Imitation or Art?

Raven loves his big sister Micha. He follows her around. He even mirrors her posture, which as we all know, means you like someone....

Handspun

I made yarn! I'm very excited. It's shetland fibre in it's natural brown.

Yes, that is a dime. The little skein is about 15 yards. Not sure about the wpi, haven't done that yet. I was just so excited I had to show all of you!

It's not consistent yarn. But that just improves it's charm, right?

Ciao

Jean Yarn

I decided to get a move on with the jean purse I want to make. So I started knitting it up on thursday. It was too narrow, so I ripped back and started again on friday. As of this morning, it looks like this:

I think another inch or so (which works out to about 2 more rounds) I think I will be binding off. Then I need to add the jean waistband at the top and line it. That will probably take me 6 months or so at my normal speed....

The texture is really interesting.

Stockinette:

And garter:

I knit the bottom as a square and picked up stitches around the edge to continue knitting it in the round.

ciao