Dear....

Dear Dumbass Neighbour,

I agree that the dog barking for hours at a time is irritating and annoying. I can even see why you took the coward's way out and called the police to talk to your neighbour instead of just going over. But get your details right. I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DOG!!!!!!

The guy behind me does, and I KNOW it's his dog that is doing the barking. I don't appreciate being bothered by the cops when it's not me being the problem.

If I knew who you were, I'd dump my recycling on your front lawn.

sincerely,
cat lover